small towns

I love Lewistown.  I enjoy the small town life, knowing I can walk anywhere, knowing that (for the most part) I am safe, my kids are safe.  Knowing my kids can walk and ride their bikes to school and it's not too far.  I love walking into the Jr. High with my son and pointing out things from when I went to that very same Jr. High.  I love the history, I love sharing stories about this small town with my kids, using the 'ol "When I was your age........" 
But it's a catch 22, as almost everything is.  I dislike that I can't go to the store, looking like crap and feel anonymous.  There's always someone to run into......your co-worker, your cousin, your husband's friend, etc....And that's it.....I NEVER get to feel anonymous.  And living in a town where not only did I grow up, but my mom and grandparents also grew up makes it even more difficult.  First of all, I'm related to half the dang town, I swear. 
Then there's all of the folks who say "You're a Tindall, right?" or "You're one of the Bunn girls, right?"  Yes, yes I am.  And add my husband's grandpa into the mix, I now get "Oh you're married to Doc Bruchez's grandson?"
Now 90% of the time, it's cool, it really is.  I definitely like it way more than I dislike it.  There are just times, I look at my husband and say, Can't we just move??  If I'm angry with someone, I don't want to have to see them around every corner.  If I know there's a particular person my son doesn't get along with at school, I seriously don't want to have to run into his mom....his dad......his siblings....his aunts and uncles.....around every freaking corner. 
One particular situation that comes to mind to describe what I'm feeling involves the lady from the hospital who did a medical procedure on me, something private.  Not only do our kids go to school together, she also goes to my church and is my sisters' next door neighbor.  I mean, seriously!  (And of course these things aren't anyone's fault, it's just the way it is!)
For the most part, I'm a narcissist and an open book.  I'm trying really hard to change.  I've looked back at how I've been in the past, and I don't like what I see.  The self involved, narcissistic me who tends to think everything is about me.  In this journey, it's drawing out this side of me that craves privacy and understanding.  It's helping me to realize who I can truly count on and who matters most.  It's making me want to leave Lewistown.
But Lewistown has my heart, it always will, even if I do leave.  Lewistown is home.  I can walk down Main Street Lewistown and jog a memory to share with my kids.  Nothing can replace that, nothing can compare to that.